My vow

I vow to you My saviour

That where your feet have trod

I will serve and always follow you

My Jesus and My God.

Garage Hymnal- Fairest Lord Jesus

Credo and CBM

Credo is a christian group at uni that I am a part of this year and next year too. Its hard to believe that its almost the end of the year!! I remember going to the commissioning service with my church friend (who used to be part of credo) earlier this year and here I am at the end of the year saying "be right back" to small groups and public meeting, i'll cu next semester :D:D
No more feeling guilty of skipping my monday morning small group and tuesday public meeting, no more trying to wake up early to try to make it to small group until next semester... Of course I need to skip less public meetings and small groups next year and committed to one instead of trying to do a couple like this year... so hopefully there will be no more skipping small groups and public meetings too next year!!


I am definitely blessed with the privilege to be able to attend and build relationships with the people at Credo and also CBM (christian group at my previous uni) :D:D


Thank you God for Credo and CBM.

I hate tricky papers!!!

When i was studying for my today's exam, I felt pretty confident and was expecting to get great mark for it too but...


Turned out tht the questions were a lot more tricky than those given in the sample practice questions and i got so confused and couldnt do as well as i thought i could.. im pretty devo about it and being thankful was definitely not the first thing that came to my mind after the exams but instead to complain (which i did)!!


As i think about it, what more can i do apart from doing my best and i did my best when i was studying.. shall i worry about it now?? the answer would be no but gggrrrrr, its hard :(:(:(


Father God, help me to be okkie and still be thankful regardless of how i think and feel about my paper this morning.. help me to not be anxious about it and leave it all up to you as i already did what i was suppose to do.

Trust

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog/what-if-sometimes


:D:D

Our God

Water, You turned into wine
opened the eyes of the blind
there's no one like you
none like you


And if our God is for us
then who could ever stop us
and if our God is with us
then what could stand against

Our God- Chris Tomlin

Full lyrics and song sample can be listen here. This is a new song that we sang at church for the first time today and i was greatly encouraged by the words, so i thought i share it with you :D:D

Our God is so awesome that no one can be compared to him. Because he is that awesome, nothing will stop me from coming to him, not even sin, not even when my heart is telling me i am not worthy to come to him. Because he is for me.

A great reminder that i have an awesome father in heaven who is with me and as a result, i am secure and safe in his hands. Because nothing can stand against me, even my sinful acts and heart.

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5-6, NIV 84)

Dream Job

Last night at bible study, each of us was given an opening question that are different from each other. The question that i got was something along the line of "what would be my dream job in 10 years time?"
I didnt really know what i wanted to do because i enjoy doing a few things like cooking and doing admin (just to name a couple now that i can think of more), but theyre not really my dream job. A friend of mine said "doing ministry" and i paused. Not because i dont really wanna do it but because i felt like theyre a bit odd to be a dream job.


Opening up proverbs 31 changed my mind about doing ministry as a dream job. Proverbs 31 esp verses 26-31 draws a beautiful picture of a wife with noble character. I am not exactly a wife and dont think i'll be one sometime soon but those godly traits are definitely ones that God's daughter should pursue whether or not theyre married. Of course how they look like on a daily basis would be different as each has different roles but you get the point ;);)


So in 10 years time, my dream job would either be "the wife of noble character" or "god's daughter of noble character" depending on whichever god has in plan. :D:D

"If Jesus is not Lord of all, he is not Lord at all "

Thank You, Dad

I went to a friend's baby shower yesterday and there was a sharing about what people had been telling the sharer about what to do and not to do during pregnancy.. what to do and what not to do after the birth and so on. She didnt share about tips on what to do and not do do though because she knew that a lot of people wouldve talked about it with my friend however at the end of her sharing about what her kids had been teaching her, she had one tip for my friend that was passed on when she was pregnant and i thought it was so sweet. Here is what she said:

" to make sure that the day when my friend and her husband bring home the new baby, they would start reading her (the newborn baby) God's word and do it daily, so that later on she (the daughter) will say 'I dont remember a time where my parents didnt read me from God's word.'  "

I thought that it was sweet and i wish i can say that but i cant because my parents dont believe in Jesus.

For a second i was jealous but then greatly reminded that it is not necessary to be able to say that because my parents has been such a great blessings regardless of whether or not they believe in Jesus.

Yes, they dont believe in Jesus like i do but the fact that my heavenly father had put me in this very family that is just as awesome, why should i envy and i have no reason to be jealous or complain but to be thankful INSTEAD :D:D

I am left with no reason to be jealous whatsoever but to be thankful because my heavenly father always give me good things and he has given me good things :D:D All i need to do is ask and he will give it to me if he thinks that theyre good for me. If he doesnt give it to me then it simply means that theyre not good for me even when i think theyre good!!

“Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:11-13, NIV 1984).

Chat about Suffering

A: do u know who actually rules this world??


me: God


A: no ure wrong!! let me give you this magazine tht tells u who actually rules the world..


me: why dont u tell me who rules the world and give me a snapshot of the magazine??


A: we believe that god doesnt rule this world but the devil and humans, thats why we experience sufferings n tht this world is broken becos if god rules the world, he wont let suffering occur!!


me: but suffering occurs becos of sin not becos of God is out of control of this world...




that was a short version of the long chat with 2 people that came to my house.


what do you think?? do you think that god is n control of this world or he is out of control of this world?? Check him out for yourselves and find out who God really is, whether he is a loving God or a God who likes to punish people and let people suffer??

I gain NOTHING!!

The wise man has eyes in his head,
while the fool walks in the darkness;
but I came to realize
that the same fate overtakes them both.


Then I thought in my heart,
“The fate of the fool will overtake me also.
What then do I gain by being wise?”
I said in my heart, “This too is meaningless.” 

For the wise man, like the fool, will not be long remembered;
in days to come both will be forgotten.
Like the fool, the wise man too must die!

Ecclesiastes  2:14-16 (NIV 84)

Neither rich nor poor
Neither ugly nor pretty

Neither lonely nor surrounded by lots of friends

Neither smart nor dumb

Neither single nor in a relationship/married

Everything will come to an end and one day perish and become MEANINGLESS!!

Why find meaning in the meaningless things that we know are temporary and oneday will perish?? Ironic that i still find myself doing so knowing that it is useless!! Finding meaning in career and status are so much more attractive than in Jesus who already sacrificed so much for me!!

BUT knowing that Jesus wont perish and fail me when career and status will, do I keep walking towards career and status, or do i stop and change direction towards Jesus?? I am stopping and changing my direction,

how about you??

Community

A community of people in the church together encouraging and helping one another. Holding each others' hands and shoulders that noone can fall down. If one do fall, the rest are there to help him/her to get up again. A community that is not self centered but one that is doing all things for the benefit of the whole church.


What is then the point of doing all these if they are not marked by love?? No point rite?? I dont even think that we would do all those things if we dont have love. No love means no point. So brothers and sisters, let us build a community that is marked by LOVE in all things that we do :D:D


" A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another:  just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."   (John 13:34-35, ESV)

In the Valley

And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley's where Your power is revealed

In the Valley by Sovereign Grace Ministries

The more i think that i can stand on my own and rely on my own ability to finish and do things, the more i will think that i dont need God.

The more i try to stand on my own, the more i find myself fall and fail to stand up properly..

The more i try to be good and do good things to find favour in God's eyes, the more i find myself not being able to meet His standard..

The MORE i look for my greatness, the LESS i will find and get disappointed instead!!

Thankfully, i dont have to try to stand up on my own because i have a God who will help me to stand up properly. A God who is ready to pick me up when i fall and fail. A God who gives me strength to go on even when i fail again and again. In fact i find His love and greatness through my failure.

We're All in This Together

Let us TOGETHER

Share the Gospel of Jesus Christ

No matter at what cost

Because we have HOPE

-quoted from one of my uni staffworker-

Those simple sentences were just spot on!! It was what i needed to hear esp during this mission month to get me up from my comfortable seat and get going to invite my friends to come and hear the gospel. Not only to not be embarrassed and self conscious when im wearing my mission jumper but to also live out a life as one of God's children.

Not mine but Yours

Something that I was encouraged by a few days ago as I was listening to a song. A song that ive been listening to for quite some time but still strike me again and again as I ponder about it more. I was encouraged and challenged at the same time to give up my own desire as my life is no longer belong to me but my heavenly father who set me free through Jesus' blood on the cross. My priority has now changed from self centered to Jesus centered because of what he had done on the cross for me.


Choosing to submit my whole life to someone that saved me who was his enemy even to the point of death is the best decision I made.


Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use
Every power as you will choose


*Take myself and I will be
ever only all for thee

Take my Life- Garage Hymnal

Certain and Unchanged

You, you did not back away
As the hour came
As the darkness fell
But you, you finished everything
We're alive again

Garage Hymnal-  Hallelujah

A song that reminded me about that time at the cross where Jesus was punished for my sins. Where I was the one who made the mistake but he was the one who willingly took my punishment.

Where he could just give up and let me deal with my own consequences but he chose not to.

I cant imagine if Jesus decided to change his mind and give up, not wanting to take and bear the punishment of the mistake that wasnt even his own. Having someone like Jesus who I can hold on to (and definitely been keeping me by his side) gave me a certain hope. A hope that this world cant offer as i find it hard to find certainty in this world. A hope that guarantee that at the end of the day I wont fall and will stand still by his side as he is certain and unchanged.

Are you certain that what you are holding to at the moment will keep you stand still till the end of the day??

Looking in and Looking out

We had a conversation regarding predestination at bible study yesterday. Some asked how can we be sure whether or not we are God's chosen people and others wonder about the possibility of christians falling away in future. Some suggested that christians cant fall away because God will never let go of his people but in fact, i heard a few cases where christians do turn away from God.


To be honest, Im not sure where i stand in terms of christians falling away. I know that God will never let his people go away from him (as I have been seeing his faithfulness in my own life) but at the same time there are christians who turn away from  God. One thing I do know is that predestination is not suppose to make me doubt about whether or not i am one of his chosen people because it is a gift in the first place not out of my own will. Predestination is pointing out to me all the more that I am purely chosen by grace and nothing else.


My bible study leader put it this way in regards to all the doubts and unsureness about being a christian in the future
"if you put your faith outside Jesus, you would doubt on whether or not you will be safe in the future because of the many uncertainties, but if you put your faith inside Jesus, you will be sure that in the future you will still be a christian because Jesus never change!!"




I thought that was helpful as a reminder and hope that it would be helpful for you too :D:D

Hard love

For some reason that I dont even know, a thought of loving people when its hard came to mind. It got me thinking about unhelpful comments that people made. Those comments were made out of full ignorance which was what got me annoyed and kinda hurt!! Scary how a simple thought like that got me thinking and feeling the pain again, before i know it, i spent at least the last 30 minutes thinking about it and getting angry and annoyed at what happen.

As im walking down the valley of bitterness and hurt from those unhelpful comments, my heavenly dad is pulling me away that i may come back to the top and not reaching the bottom of the valley. By that i mean my heavenly dad is reminding me about his awesomeness and goodness towards me before i start to hate those people who hurt my feelings.

If my heavenly dad is able to forgive me who was not just making unhelpful comments but fully reject him inside out, i should be compelled to do the same to those who hurt me. I was such a big pain in my dad's eyes because of sin that i carry around with me, but regardless of that, he still loves me and forgive me.

What reason do I have now to complain and get angry at those who were just making unhelpful comments??  Surely  people unhelpful comments are are nothing in comparison to my sin!!

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."  2 corinthians 5:14-15 (NIV, 1984)

Catching up with friends + a good cup of coffee = AWESOME :D:D

Some things that I enjoy and love doing on a saturday. Im so thankful that I am given the time to just sit down and relax and rest not having to worry about the business of life and having to catch up with the rest of the world. <3

Psalm 28

1. To you I call, O Lord my Rock,
do not turn a deaf ear to me.
For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.


3. Do not drag me away with the wicked, with those who do evil,
who speak cordially with their neighbors but harbor malice in their hearts.

Psalm 30

I will exalt you O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.


O Lord My God, I called to you for help
and you healed me


O Lord you brought me up from the grave
you spared me from going down into the pit.


What an awesome heavenly dad I have. If my dad in this world wouldnt even let me get hurt, how much more would my dad in heaven heal me from my wound!! Thanks2 dad!!


(v1-3, 1984 NIV)

Escaping this semester

I thought not having a proper mid semester break due to mid semester exam is annoying/ the worst i'll get at uni this semester. But unfortunately not!! I was just looking at my course outline and found out that there wont be a study break period too before exams (normally called STUVAC). I used to always have a proper 1 week STUVAC at least but this time around, not at all!! There will still be a few lectures happening and even tutorials on the week of the exam period. The exam period starts on a saturday and I would still have classes that weekdays!!


Last time no mid semester break, this time around no STUVAC!! What a great way to start my first semester at a new uni.


Too many things that I feel like i need to do and too little time given. I would normally be sleepy by now but im not because my brain is still up working, thinking and worrying about exams and assignment due this friday and monday!!


Oh well, complaining about it wont change the fact that i wont have STUVAC. I guess the best option now is to use my time wisely and productively.


Dearest my brothers and sisters in Christ who are in their busy period and are having a more hectic schedule than me, lets be reminded to not look for our identity on our busyness because it doesnt last forever. When our identity depend on how busy we are, we'll lose it as soon as we are not busy anymore. Lets look for our identity in something that is bigger, better and eternal that is Jesus.

Desert Song- Hillsong

"All of my life
In every season, You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship."


Those lines come from the bridge of the song. As I ponder more about the words, I was encouraged from being reminded that regardless of what happen to me and what happen in my life, it doesn't change the fact that God is still my God. I change but God doesn't. It is comforting to know that God doesn't change even when I often change. 


I used to be excluded from God's family but now I am one of God's children. Even at times when I disappoint God again and again, my status as his children doesn't change!! Because of that, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship. God's decision to adopt me wasn't because of I do good things and it doesn't change when I do bad things. It was pure out of God's grace :D:D
I am so thankful that I am adopted through God's grace and NOT through anything that I do because knowing how sucks i am, there is no way I can be adopted if everything is on me.


"Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."
Ephesians 3b-5.

Psalm 25

4-5. Show me your ways O Lord, teach me your paths
Guide me in your truth and teach me for you are God my saviour,
and my hope is in you all day long.


16-18. Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied, free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

Representative (reps)

I had a quite interesting today. Maybe not as interesting as you might think it is but a few verses from Exodus 19 was discussed twice, one briefly and one quite intensely at both uni christian group meeting and church bible study group. I went to uni public meeting today and the talk was taken from Exodus 19:1-6 and Exodus 20:1-21. At church bible study tonight, we touched on same verses taken from Exodus 19: 4-6. That coincidence is what i found interesting :D:D Let me highlight the point that I found most encouraging.

‘You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.”

Exodus 19: 4-6

The fact that God chooses to use us (who used to not care about him and rejected him) to be his reps in this world that he created is a big and amazing fact. That same fact was what encouraged me today and reminded me that I am God's reps and therefore I need to act like one not out of obligation but out of love. I need to act like God's reps out of love because I have been loved in the first place and that is shown by his willingness in bringing me to himself (v4).

Resting at home today...

This week is the mid semester break at uni. I was very grumpy to find out earlier this week that I would have to come to uni and do group work on thursday (which is today). I was grumpy because thursday would be my only day off from uni and work because I had my mid semester exam yesterday and am working tomorrow. I was planning to just rest and relaxing at home but my friends sent an email out asking for a group meeting. I had no choice but to say yes because it is a group work.


It turned out that my friends cancelled the group meeting which means that today will be my day off :D:D I slept in and woke up thinking "God, thank you for rest and thank you for canceling the group meeting!!" hehehhe
Today is the perfect day to stay at home and rest too because its been raining outside and pretty cold, so staying inside the house with a cup of tea is the best alternative to group meeting and be outside :D:D


Being at home and not wanting to do anything just yet, I decided to turn to psalm 23 and verse 1 and 4 particularly struck me. It says " The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
I am encouraged and challenged at the same time to not fear anything even to the point of death because I know that God will be with me. To have God instead of anything or anyone else gives me a HUGE comfort. Why?? Because God never fails while everything else in this world fails!! BUT
Those verses are a big claim (in my opinion) that David wrote in his psalms and it left me pondering about what would it look like in my life now that I am rebuked to not fear and be in want. Clearly, there will be times in my life where I would want more and better of things and also worrying and getting scared about life and future.


Knowing and understanding God and who he is will leave me with fighting against temptation. It is going to be rough, painful and hard but I know that God will NEVER leave me alone and that he will give me the strength to cope. Therefore, I trust him to be my shepherd who will guide me in path of righteousness.

Post KYCK and ETC

I am so blessed to be able to go to 2 christian camps 2 weekends in a row. Theyre both full of awesome bible teachings and great fellowship with the people who went. I've never done anything like this before and to be honest, my brain is now overloaded with intense bible teachings (regardless of the intensity of the teaching, they are still awesome and challenging and encouraging).


My life post KYCK and ETC has been and will be face with studying for mid semester exams. I had an exam last monday after kyck and will have another exam this coming wednesday. I had to put aside further reflections on what i learned at both ETC and KYCK till after this wed. Life after this wednesday would still be busy because i still have assignments to do and lots of uni work to catch up. There is a tendency to put aside what i learned because life is now back to normal.


I am particularly challenged to reflect more on what i learned and not putting it aside for too long and eventually forget it. I am challenged to NOT only letting the knowledge that i learned go into my right ear and at the same time letting it go out from my left ear because there are just soo many infos that i need to reflect and take on from both weekends and my life is now back to normal (let alone all the many things i learn from church on a weekly basis).


I would like to encourage you my brothers and sisters in Christ too to not only be hearers of God's word but also doers. As we are called to be holy because our dad in heaven is holy, it is important to put into practice what we learn from the bible not just listen to it and forget it!!




"As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
1 Peter 1:14-16

KYCK and ETC

I just came back from KYCK with my youth group earlier this week (fyi, KYCK is an annual conference for high schoolers up in the mountain). It was more tiring that usual but was awesome as it usually is. The greatness of being with the youths learning from God's word and enjoying each others company overcome the tiredness. Lacking of sleep hours at night from talking and chatting was definitely worth it. Encouraging and sharing with each other was something that i always look forward to from kyck.


I am still excited from kyck last weekend and am excited for etc this weekend (fyi, etc is an annual conference as well but for UTS uni students). I am looking forward getting to know the people at credo (the christian group at uts) and being centered in God's word. Hanging out with each other and being encouraged and encouraging others too.


I love the fact that i can go to both camps one after another. Being able to learn from God's word intensely with his people 2 weeks in a row.
As much as i love going to camps and being taught from the bible, i am scared that i only hear it and not reflecting on it. I am scared that i only listen to it at camps and forget it as soon as i go back to real life after camp. I often say to people who tease me that i dont take their tease and jokes seriously because it goes into my right ear and goes out the other way. I hope that this wont be the case for all the things that i learned at kyck and will learn at ETC.


Please pray that i would be able to stop and reflect on the teachings being taught so that i would be able to apply it to my life as well. Please pray that my heart would be softened and challenge as i hear God's word being preach at ETC and reflect on the words preached at kyck last weekend.
Please pray for us who are going to ETC that our hearts would be ready to be rebuked, encouraged and challenged. Please pray for us who went to kyck and are going to etc that we'll be doers of God's word not just hearers.


love,
ikan :D:D

This Life I live

This life I live is not my own
For my Redeemer paid the price
...

His is the right to rule my life
Mine is the joy to live for him

...

I cannot know what lies ahead
But know that he has gone before

...
I will not fear to meet him there
I know my life is hid with him

Words & Music: Michael Morrow

Please find the full version of the lyrics and song here.

Studying

I grew up in a family that value education very much. My parents like many other parents wants the best education for me. Growing up in this kinda family is awesome but there is a danger to it at the same time. My parents always provided me with schools and everything else that I need so I take education for granted. Started with kindy to primary to high school and now uni. It feels like a pattern that has been set and i have to go through in life.


Studying is something that is very precious now that i realise. I never see studying as something that is very precious. It is very precious because not many people are able to study properly due to many reasons like financial or other commitments like family.


I tend to complain a lot about my study but thinking about what a privilege i get to be able to study let alone studying overseas makes me feel a lot more thankful.


Friends, lets use the opportunity and time given to us to study properly and faithfully, knowing that it is a privilege to be able to study wherever we are. Sharing this thoughts with you guys doesnt mean that i wont be complaining over my study anymore in future (unfortunately because i am still someone who gets frustrated and complains a lot). I just wanted to share because i wanted to encourage you to appreciate study more and be motivated to study perhaps (if you are in your tired stage of studying like me).

Uni days has started again!!

Its March and definitely no more holidays even during the mid semester break which is coming in a few weeks time. I thought that i'll be getting 2 weeks for the mid sem break but i wont get 2 weeks because the first week is for mid sem (lucky for those who dont have any mid sem)


The thoughts of going to uni was great until i realised that im so behind with my uni work. So many readings that i have to do and im behind with my readings :(:( I used to say that im not a big fan of maths and that i wont do any maths subjects at uni unless i have to. Here i am ended up doing accounting and finance which are all maths subjects. Ironic i know.


Now that i think about it, i started to enjoy doing accounting and finance more than managements subjects purely because of the amount of readings i have to do for managements. God knows that i wouldnt be able to keep up with all my readings if i do management subjects, hence he let me do accounting and finance and started to like it.


I changed my minds in the past years regarding on what i want to do at uni. I ended up majoring in areas that i never think i would do but here i am doing it and wont change anymore because i wanna graduate asap :D:D Things in life doesnt always go the way i wanted at times and when it happens, i tend to get annoyed and frustrated because i feel like a failure for not able to achieve what i wanted to achieve. Sometimes what i plan doesnt reflect in real life. I get confuse and feeing kinda hopeless when it comes to planning for my future.


One thing that always cheer me up when those feelings come across is that i know i have a GOOD heavenly father who has planned everything out for me. I dont have to worry or get frustrated when things doesnt go according to my plan because everything will go according to his plan.

Last day for january 2011

It's been a month already since the new year 2011 started. In a few hours time, the new month would begin and without reliasing it, it'll be the end of the month again...


I was at KL when this new year and month begun and here i am at my indo home writting a blog at the end of the month. Here i am looking forward to go back to sydney but at the same time i dont mind staying here a bit longer too because i want to spend more time with friends. I thought i can get away with this kinda feeling. Feeling of wanting to be at sydney and jakarta. Clearly i can't get away with that feeling as i am feeling it now. I dont even know whether i would be able to get away from those feelings but oh well, its just something that i have to go through in life.


I woke up today thinking that in 3 days time i wouldnt be able to see my indo friends till i come back sometime at the end of the year or early next year. Sad but at the same time im glad knowing that i'll be back in sydney in 3 days time.. I wonder why do God let me feel this way.. again i questioned why!!


But after a few moments i realised that i am such a lucky kid. I get a chance to get both my indo and sydney friends to be part of my life. Its harder to hang out with my indo friends because we are so far apart but i get the chance to hang out with them this holiday at least even for a short period of time.
Saying goodbye is always hard and never easy but the fact that i get to spend time in both cities and i enjoyed them is something that i should be thankful about not complaining.

One village near Merapi

I visited a village near the mount merapi with church people 2 weeks ago. We were told that there would be no toilet but phone reception was awesome!! The first thing that i wanted to do when i got to the village was to pee (how inconvinient) but thank God we found a few houses that have closed toilets inside their house..hehehe :D:D
Even though closed toilet was rare, I enjoyed every moment i spent in that village. I spent most of my time interacting with the kids because I was helping out with the children's program that my church held in the village. Another reason was because they are the ones who are able to speak indo while with the older people I have to talk in javanese as most of them dont know how to speak indo...

The kids love to sing more than games.. They sing and dance too, not a big and fancy dance but just a little movements. They made me enjoy singing with those little movements and they taught us (my friends and me) a couple of sunday school songs in javanese. I only remember how to sing one song which i have to be honest i love the song :D:D As far as i can remember, I've never enjoyed singing sunday school songs as much as i did in that village.

One thing that amaze me most from that village is their hungriness of God's word and i want to be as hungry as them in my spiritual life. For me it is easy to forget God and to put him aside but those villagers taught and encourage me to not forget God and to keep trusting him whatever condition i am in.

Image and Pride

I am one of those people who try to live up to people expectations. What people think and say about me are very important to me and I dont want people to say bad things or think bad about me whatever it is.
It comes to a point where im tired to live up to people expectations becoz no matter what i do, i can never live up to their expectations. The reason being is becoz they keep raising their expectations once i meet their standards. All of a sudden, i become a failure becoz i can never make people happy.

As the time goes by, i realised that regardless of what i do, i am a failure anyway becoz of my sin. My sin would always cause me to fail becos the nature of sin is to make people fail.
As a christian, i am not a failure anymore because i am no longer bound to sin. I am free from sin because Jesus sets me free from sin through the cross.
My image and pride is no longer depend on me now but depend on Jesus which is far better because I know that Jesus is certain unlike me who keeps sinning and sinning and uncertain!!

Gone in a second!!

I visited a place that used to be a village or combined villages near the mount merapi. The village (s) that used to be there is there no more!! It was destroyed by the heat clouds during the eruption of the mountain. Nothing was there apart from dead trees, huge rocks, sulfur smell, huge empty space covered with dust, and endless memories of pain and tears.
It was heartbreaking to see what happened to people over there. To wake up one day and found themselves had to run for their lives. To wake up and saw that their house and everything that they had was gone with the heat clouds. To wake up and found that their loved ones were not with them anymore.

Life is very short and noone really knows what is going to happen to us or the people around us. Wouldnt it be a waste if we build/ live this life for some thing that will not last for eternity?? something that will fade away as the world fades away.

Standing among those remaining villages makes me ponder about the purpose of life.

What is the purpose of you life??
What are you building your life on??

Snorkeling with a Life Jacket

I am currently on holidays with a couple of my friends and went snorkeling a few days ago. The thought of snorkeling scared me even since one of my friend suggested it. I am paranoid with waters but i thought to myself, just deal with it this time plus i would have friends around me anyway so i ended up going snorkel but it didnt last long.

After 10 minutes being in the water, i decided to go back to the boat and stayed there not wanting to go snorkel again because i was struggling to breathe and i just couldnt do it!!

My friends told me to have a second go but i refused because i was traumatised. So, everytime my friends went snorkelling i would just stay on the boat looking around and taking pictures...hehehe, i still enjoyed staying on the boat though ;);)

We spent 2 days and a bit in Mabul Island (the place where we went snorkel) and on the evening on the last day i finally decided to have a second go but with a life jacket. I felt like a little kid who is learning how to swim but i didnt trust myself enough to swim out in the sea without a life jacket. I would rather feeling like a little kid and look like a little kid than feeling insecure. Not the best thought to have i know but i couldnt help it!!

There was even a little kid who jump multiple times from the wharf to the sea and i was sitting on the wharf stairs amazed by the braveness of that little kid :D:D

It is a bit ironic because my nickname is ikan (fish) but i get paranoid of waters and just learned how to snorkel with a life jacket... oh well, i had a good time and enjoyed everyone company...

Christmas Gift

I know that this is late for a christmas post but I am going to write the post anywayy :D:D

Coming up to Christmas everything is about last minute shopping to buy christmas gifts and there were so many discounts around for the last minute shopping... (being an asian, i was excited about the discounts bit but the excitement stops there :D:D)

I dont grow up in a christian family so christmas is never about giving or receiving present from anyone, so i dont really think much about gift (s). I grew up knowing santa and gifts but because my parents dont know much about it either hence they didnt really talk much about it!! i only saw santa's decrations at shopping centre and thats pretty much it!! I never really see christmas as a season for presents.

But I was reminded from the christmas that just passed that christmas is all about Gift. It is about receving gift MORE than giving gift though, let me explain...

Christians get the ultimate gift for Christmas and that gift is JESUS... Jesus is the greatest gift because he is incomparable with any other thing that this world has to offer. God who give us the gift (Jesus) didnt just give us a normal and impersonal gift but he gave us HIMSELF in Jesus!! complicated?? i know, but this is the awesomeness of christmas for christians that our gift giver gave us the ultimate gift which is himself :D:D

Now that i have jesus in my christmas, christmas' excitement is not about big discounts and christmas shopping anymore but because i was given the ultimate gift which is JESUS :D:D

A gift that is better than any gifts i received and will receive because Jesus will last while other things will eventually fall!!

I hope that everyone had a meaningful christmas and not one that was just a tradition or a celebration without knowing or understanding the real meaning to it!!